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| You'd think people would know about the internet by now... |
The day of the iPhone 6 release I was working at the bank. Consumed with smoldering rage from my very cheap smartphone consistently dropping calls and location while counting on the g.p.s., I had decided to go big and go iPhone. As I was working that day, I figured I would go order the iPhone at lunch while getting a key made for my new roommate.
1:30- Got my sandwich and celery #healthyeats. Lunchtime. Time to head out to the Verizon store and hardware store. I got this.
2:30- Back to the grind. I will get the new phone and key later. That Panda Express was delicious, and now I cannot move.
It's so hard to get things done in this day and age. Mostly because distractions are so prevalent that it's hard to refocus on the things that really need to be done. Do I need to get through all 8 seasons of House on Netflix? Not really because they are all basically the same. Hugh Laurie will do his thoughtful/sheepish downwards head tilt 30 times an episode, they will figure out the disease early only to have the patient almost die, and they will ALWAYS toss around the idea of lupus.
I had a lady with lupus come into the bank the other day. She told me she hadn't slept for 7 days (physically impossible), and that she was a good manager of her finances (10 overdrafts in the last couple months). If I ever get unexpectedly sick I will assuredly suggest to the doctor that I might have lupus.
Another reason that we can't get anything done these days is the endless cycle of consumerism. The iPhone is a good example. Pay $650 for a phone you'll use for a year. Then buy a case so you don't destroy that phone for $50. Make sure to add screen protectors made of the substance the army uses to coat helicopter blades so you don't accidentally crack your screen with a large rock. Make sure to buy a car charger for another $30 so that your battery can slowly lose it's ability to recuperate but will be immortal. 1 month later you drop your phone in the toilet and buy a cheap one on Ebay.
Even those without phones that cost more than 6 months of their electricity bill are not safe. Health food is an easy example for me, particularly apropos In what I have recently dubbed the "celery cycle". It can be succinctly described as follows:
Step 1: Buy celery to force yourself to eat healthy.
Step 2: Wage an ongoing battle between your good intentions and hatred of raw celery's sinewy texture and grass-like taste.
Step 3: Willpower kicks in after a week, and you slowly force yourself to become accustomed to chewing a cud.
Step 4: Your bag of celery is 3/4 full but evidencing real signs of decay.
Step 5: With a mixture of shame and relief you throw the bag away, vowing to right your feeble attempts at the next go come payday.
Step 6: Buy celery to force yourself to eat healthy.
Or, if you would like to find another hobby that perfectly illustrates consumerism, take opening up packs of football cards. My roommate recently turned me on to football cards. This is pretty logical since I do fantasy football like it's my job, and follow the NFL very closely. We hit a card worth (hopefully) $400 bucks in one our first openings. That's legit. You also hit thousands of worthless cards that you basically throw away. Vis a vis, our kitchen table right now:
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| I will give you all of these for $10 |
That's what garage sales are for.
Suffice it to say, we humans are a curious breed. I almost just paid for an app to "baldify" any picture. I went for the free one, but you get what you pay for:
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| Sorry buddy, TOO GOOD |
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