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In the Concrete Jungle of Yuppies

I recently made the move from country mouse to city mouse. In addition to people not looking like hobos when they shop, there are other things I've already begun to notice in the suburbs of D.C.

#1) I'm choosing my words more carefully. I was in a training session for my new job today. During the entirety of Day 1 (yesterday), I was sitting in this incredibly uncomfortable, low-to-the-ground cheap office chair. Today I spurred myself to action in order to rectify my oncoming lower-back woes.

After the speaker was finished and we were looking up product information, I quietly switched chairs with an empty station. As I swiveled my new chair to my desk and then sat down, my one wish was that someone would comment so I could rejoin with "Yeah, that apparatus was hella-bad for my lumbar support." Unfortunately no one piped up, and my small window for a short comedic soliloquy had meanwhile closed.

With bitter regret I resumed my research. You have to act fast in the city sphere.

#2: If you find free parking, that day was a good day. In fact, fate smiled upon you. It's on par with finding a $20 bill on the street. Love it. Live it. Tell your friends because they will be jealous.

#3: If you're driving as a caravan, some person WILL cut-off those obviously relying upon you for their navigational survival. They will do so with a big smile, relishing the dog-eat-dog world that is metropolitan traffic.

Upon rejoining your chums at your destination, you can shake your fists with proverbial rage against your malefactor. That's the beauty out of the sorrow. It brings people together.

#4: Hipsters exist. I was recently at Silver Diner with some peeps getting some foodstuffs. The table next to us was full-to-the-seams with young men and women sporting garish scarves and silly eyeglasses.

They were taking about education, as hipsters are wont to do, so I dropped some eves. One of them mentioned private grade schools, and her male associate, one of the more stereotypically hipster members, laconically replied "I don't believe in private schools." I tried to stem my tide of mirth, but to no avail.

He gave no further explanation, as if none was needed. I sat there chortling for a good while, as they continued their discussion about two feet away. My first experience of the hipster dismissal of established ways of life for no apparent reason provided me unexpected entertainment.

All in all, the"city" is a lot of fun. I'm sure there will be much more enjoyment, even if I have to get used to paying to park my car. It's odd to think of things you have to start budgeting for when you change your walk of life, but I guess that's the flavor of it.

~ Worley

N.B: Coronaritas are delicious. They are also $14 here.

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