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Showing posts from December, 2014

A Very Canary Christmas

Matisyahu - The Jewish Reggae guy The other night I went with my old and dear friend Merco to see Matisyahu in concert. To say I knew very little about the man would be an understatement: 1. I know one song he's done: "One Day". 2. I thought he was black. 3. Not only is he not black and doesn't have dreads, he's Jewish. The first thing that really struck me was how few of the words I could make out. It truly sounded like he just made sounds into the microphone and threw in some English words every once in awhile to reassure everyone that he was actually singing about something. In contrast to most reggae out there, which is a ceaseless cycle of uninspired drum beats and toneless singing, he had very creative and lively music. But again, it was pretty much instrumental to my ears. The thing that truly made a profound impression on me was what is pictured above. Towards the end of his set, Matisyahu brought a menorah onto the stage and lit it ...

A Modern Proposal: Why Murder Should Be Legalized

When thinking about the state of America today, there are surely elements that are less than ideal. There are many issues that Americans are split on: how lax immigration laws should be, who should be able to obtain welfare, and whether Tom Brady or Peyton Manning is the better quarterback (Aaron Rodgers wins). There are, of course, other things that we can all agree upon: We hate taxes, and distrust the vast majority of the officials we have elected to lead us along with their policies. Musing about the maladies of an entire nation, one aspect of life with daily exposure is crime. Frequently we hear about people kidnapping and abusing children; we are sandbagged with stories of shootings in schools; rapes and stabbings are ubiquitous occurrences in quiet suburban neighborhoods where we least expect them to take place. Now, it is important to consider as well that we have a group of men and women whose very livelihood is to protect and serve within the confines of the law so that...

A Canary in a Pear Tree: A Buzzfeed-Style Commentary

Every single one of you get out of my house  For some reason pre-ordained by a mystical being, my labor of life takes place in a bank located inside of a grocery store. While this "Inception-like" locale offers many interesting wrinkles (Imagine if it were a bank inside a grocery store inside a thrift store #mindblown), it also offers challenges.  One of the greatest challenges to my remaining sanity is the music played inside of a grocery store. It consists of about thirty songs that loop continuously. It makes you hate the songs you like and abhor the songs you hate. For some reason they also play some really creepy songs like Clay Aiken's "Invisible": " If I was invisible . Then I could just watch you in your room. " No Clay. Just no. So when Christmas season rolls around (aka November 26th to these people) you immediately get buffeted with the jolly and cloying, cacophonous and cookie-cut Christmas crap they play on the radio. You all kn...