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5 Phrases You Have No Need For

I have been utterly and irrevocably amiss in my tardiness in posting to this, my blog. C'est le vie. Getting settled into my new job and urban lifestyle has left me little time for the higher things in life (aka putting out fluff literature).

 I have lately been considering the fact that as communicative beings we rely far too much on "filler material" that is to say phrases that mean nothing but allow us to lend the appearance of attention to the person with whom we are conversing.

This is likely due to the breakdown of communication that we are experiencing as a society. I remember justifying my rampant cellphone use by mentally chalking it up to my proclivity for multi-tasking. I consider it an exercise in intellect as well as motor skills to do simultaneous activities. Writing blog posts while catching up on culturally significant shows (the Office), jogging while listening to Harry Potter audiobooks, eating cottage cheese while reviewing financial expose's, etc.

What I have come to realize, though, is that cellphone use is becoming ridiculous. The advent of the smart phone has made random personal interaction quite an obsolete activity. Today I woke up to the gravity of it.

I walked into a leasing office to check on some mail. There were 5 or so other people doing the same thing, and as the lease manager came back to his office we all trickled in so as to present him with our postal supplications one-by-one.

For a second I surveyed the landscape of his office. Very tasteful in an urban-professional way. I then turned to find a neighbor to chat with, to find every single person staring down at his or her phone. They weren't even texting or looking things up; I felt like someone had put a pause on the flow of time.

I then realized that talking to people today is awkward to the millennial generation. If I want to practice being a salesman, all I really have to do is walk into rooms and try and tear people away from their phones for a full minute. If I can do that I can basically sell you on getting a private loan in this day and age.

To go back to the point: phrases. Sometimes people use some of these in common parlance and I start laughing at them. I don't tell them why. Inside jokes with myself are a past time.

1. "It is what it is." 

The ultimate in sounding like you are contributing while not paying one shred of attention. "I wonder what economic factors will help the housing market rebound to pre 2009 levels?" "Yeah. It is what it is."

2. "Don't take this the wrong way, but..."

10/10 times I will take that "the wrong way." That's exactly how you meant me to take it, after all.

3. "[performing some action] hand over fist."

Act this one out. In front of someone who has no idea what you're doing.

4. "Don't judge a book by it's cover."

I have a hard time doing this when "what you see is what you get." Also I judge every book I read by the cover. Bonus point: Bottles of wine. Don't pretend you don't buy wine for the label.

5. "Watch your back."

That's impossible.


~Worley

Comments

  1. Don't take this the wrong way, but it is what it is; a conspiracy by mobile phone manufacturers, JK Rowling and the mainstream media to control the universe and make money hand over fist by convincing the masses they shouldn't judge a book by its cover thereby causing them to forget to watch their backs. - Dad

    ReplyDelete
  2. Dad you're the bomb. Which is another inane phrase, albeit a culturally significant one.

    ReplyDelete

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