Thoughts of a Canary

Affectionately referred to as "The Dome" For this blogpost, I was having trouble adopting a theme. I thought about publishing a piece about Obama's latest boo-boo (aka impeachable offense against the citizens of America), but few things upset me more than the things that man does. One of those things is girls posting pictures of their painted fingernails on social media. Instead of dwelling on such things, I thought about how I haven't written about my alma mater yet. This is surprising since it's a place of such magical mystery. It is the real-life Hogwarts (don't take that in a derogatory way). In fact, I could write a blog post making parallels between Christendom and Hogwarts (log that one away, Worley). The oddest thing about Christendom is it's popularity with it's students. As a student, you have three choices on how you define your relationship with the college: Love it, Hate it, Love to Hate it. By my arbitrary calculations, 25% l...

I have been utterly and irrevocably amiss in my tardiness in posting to this, my blog. C'est le vie. Getting settled into my new job and urban lifestyle has left me little time for the higher things in life (aka putting out fluff literature).  I have lately been considering the fact that as communicative beings we rely far too much on "filler material" that is to say phrases that mean nothing but allow us to lend the appearance of attention to the person with whom we are conversing. This is likely due to the breakdown of communication that we are experiencing as a society. I remember justifying my rampant cellphone use by mentally chalking it up to my proclivity for multi-tasking. I consider it an exercise in intellect as well as motor skills to do simultaneous activities. Writing blog posts while catching up on culturally significant shows (the Office), jogging while listening to Harry Potter audiobooks, eating cottage cheese while reviewing financial expose'...

I recently made the move from country mouse to city mouse. In addition to people not looking like hobos when they shop, there are other things I've already begun to notice in the suburbs of D.C. #1) I'm choosing my words more carefully. I was in a training session for my new job today. During the entirety of Day 1 (yesterday), I was sitting in this incredibly uncomfortable, low-to-the-ground cheap office chair. Today I spurred myself to action in order to rectify my oncoming lower-back woes. After the speaker was finished and we were looking up product information, I quietly switched chairs with an empty station. As I swiveled my new chair to my desk and then sat down, my one wish was that someone would comment so I could rejoin with "Yeah, that apparatus was hella-bad for my lumbar support." Unfortunately no one piped up, and my small window for a short comedic soliloquy had meanwhile closed. With bitter regret I resumed my research. You have to act fast in the ci...

I am sick of tolerance. Rather, I am sick of our societal view of what tolerance is. I'll give a quick run-down of the incident that led me to my boiling point as a refresher. Michael Sam, a DE from the University of Missouri , is the first openly gay football player. He was drafted by the St. Louis Rams in a surprise move in the 7th round of the NFL Draft. After his name was announced, the video feed cut to him crying and kissing his boyfriend. So a player that most think can't fit into the NFL was drafted and cried. That's not a big deal; we have underdog stories coming out of our ears. Oh but he was gay so it's special? I thought gay people were supposed to be just like heterosexuals? Isn't treating them different a lack of tolerance ?! The idea of tolerance, as pushed by the liberal media, takes away basic American freedoms of speech and thought. A Dolphins player tweets "horrible" after the kiss and get's suspended. What, is that a hat...

These go together like tobacco and tea grounds... I'm going to nerd out on this blogpost. I consider it my right since I've been so serious lately.  Consider this fair warning.  I was bubbling up with mirth as I walked onto my patio today. After a lot of running around in preparation for my new job and move out to Nova in a week, I finally had some real downtime to vegetate before writing this blog. It wasn't all roses, though; I had to figure out how not to get a scap-line (took it off) and spent two hours pondering whether this massive bumblebee hovering a foot above my head would just sting me or would rather torment me. It turns out he was my buddy, so that was nice. Naturally, I had come out to the beautiful sunshine to smoke a pipe and watch my submerged teabags turn their water into delicious tea via the power of the sun. While loading my pipe, I naturally had to come up with some subject of thought that substantiated the widely held belief that pip...

I miss it...and I LIVE here. You've heard the name in casual conversion so many times before. You wonder to yourself, "Is it the Knotty Pine or the Naughty Pine?" as you've questioned a thousand times. It doesn't matter; you're going to go there for the first time and soak it in whether that "it" is its naughtiness or its knottiness.  You hop in the suburban filled with 9 other hungover college kids, and make the pilgrimage to the Mecca of collegiate fine dining establishments. As you tumble out of the car, your age old question in your mind is answered: Knotty. Shrugging off a keen sense of wistful thinking as to how cool it would be if it were the other, you step inside the hallowed doors. All of your senses are immediately and simultaneously assailed: and you love it. You blink rapidly as to shield your eyes with lubrication from the smokey onslaught. You inhale the medley of smoke, grease, and cheap beer (no matter the ho...

What, you didn't think I knew what a eugoogaly was? We find crisis in everything. The 2000's show some clear examples: The Y2K crisis, the Great Recession crisis of 2008, the global warming crisis of the early 2000's (still continuing for neo-hippies), and the Justin Bieber crisis of 2008-2011 (I chalk this up to America being temporarily insane due to the Great Recession).  In our personal lives as well we experience crisis: the mid-life crisis, the I-hate-my-job crisis, the I'm-going-to-listen-to-Backstreet-Boys-again crisis (millennials). In each of these times, we have to find some identity to break out of the cycle of chaos, either as a group of people or on a personal level. This is why I am very glad that we have Facebook. In my most recent crisis, I was despairing over my lot in life. You know, times are changing. It's not enough to have a loving family, supportive friends, education, and job opportunities. Why am I not wildly famous? What's...